The Introvert’s 5-Point Guide to Surviving ATS® Homecoming (and other large belly dance events).

 Introverts have their own way of being in the world. As one, I understand how stressful and draining being in one place, with a large group of people, and a packed schedule can be.  As such, I thought it might be a good idea to put together some survival tips for those of us who tend to cringe in a crowd.

First of all, I would like to clear up a misconception about introverts. While it’s true that being around people for a long time is draining to us and small talk is tedious if not impossible, we don’t dislike people in general.  Most of us can function quite well in groups, we have friends we enjoy hanging out with, and we can get on stage and perform with as much confidence as anyone else.  The difference comes in the fact that we need more time alone to recharge than our extroverted counterparts. 

So for all my introverted sisters and brothers, here are some tips to help you get the most out of your ATS® Homecoming experience without burning-out in the process.

Terri, ATS® Homecoming Producer found time to watch the sunrise and get centered every morning.

Tip 1: Give yourself a break.

I mean this both literally and figuratively.  When you feel like you are running on fumes, do not be afraid to take the time you need to recharge and reset. This may mean skipping a workshop or other planned event. This can be hard to do when you have paid for an entire weekend package and you feel guilty not attending something for which you have already paid. Then there is the fact that you signed up for the workshops for a reason and that your friends are all going and you don’t want to miss out. These feelings of guilt and exclusion can cause you to keep going when you shouldn’t.  I can promise you, you will get much more out of the experience by taking care of yourself and not overloading than you would by forcing yourself to “just deal with it”.  Self-care is always important and you should not feel guilty for meeting your needs.  As one of my sources for this article said; “Don't pressure yourself to do All The Things… Don't beat yourself up for bowing out of a dinner, class, or other event.  Better to really enjoy fewer things than to implode from doing All The Things.”

Tip 2:  Find a Sanctuary.

For introverts, the noise and the crowds can be overwhelming. If you are lucky enough to be able to afford your own hotel room, then you already have that sanctuary set aside for you. However, for those of us who are scrimping and saving just to cover the travel and the workshops, you can bet your sweet bippy we are packing as many people as we can into that hotel room to save some cash.  What this means is that we need to find another place we can go or retreat to in order to have our time to recharge.  Last year, I found a time of day that the hot tub was all but empty.  I was able to take an hour, while everyone else was busy, and enjoy the hot water on my aching back and the quiet.  If you are unable to find a quiet place, then headphones and a less crowded corner can be your best friends. Find a corner or chair (outside of the workshops) and put on your favorite music or audio book, close your eyes, and usually, people are respectful enough to leave you to it for as long as you need to. Sometimes even a 10-15 minute reprieve can be enough.

Tip3:  Have a Plan

Sometimes the stress can culminate from being in a large group and not being sure what to do.  You can stave off some of this by giving yourself a job to do.  This doesn’t mean that you have to be a volunteer or on the event staff (although if you are, you already know what your job is), but you can plan out what it is that you want to accomplish for your scheduled time.  For example, for one workshop your job could be to stand off to the side and take really thorough notes. For another workshop your job could be to stand in the front and really focus on committing the new moves to muscle memory, etc.  Have a plan before you walk into the room and then the sheer number of people in the room with you won’t seem so daunting. 

Participants taking notes at ATS® Homecoming 2015

Tip 4: Talking the Talk

Introverts tend to be really bad at small talk.  It doesn’t mean that we don’t want to talk to you or that we don’t care or we aren’t interested in meeting you. It’s just that the thought of standing there and talking about innate things, like the weather, general statements about the number of people, or how awesome the weekend is, give us the heebie jeebies and makes us want to run.  So as an introvert in a room full of other ATS® dancers that we really do want to meet and network with; how on earth do you initiate a conversation without feeling like a total dolt? And, what on earth do you say when someone approaches you?

This is something I struggle with, as not only am I introverted, but I am socially awkward as well.  For me, I am lucky enough to attend these events with my troupe and most of them don’t have an issue with this. Therefore, I tend to grab one as my wingman and allow my extroverted friend take the conversation lead while I nod and try to participate when I feel I have something of value to add. The downfall to this approach is that while you were there, the people you met and talked to are more likely to remember your friend than you. However, repeated encounters like this are how I have met most of the dancers I now know and network with. If you are sans wingman, and find yourself in a conversation and at a loss for words, ask them questions about themselves. People are usually more than willing to take the conversation and talk about themselves, and by turning the conversation to be about them, you are taking some of the pressure off of you. Also, try to talk to one person at a time and lead with questions that will initiate a meaningful conversation and hopefully avoid the discussions about the weather.

A lovely path on the bay is right next to the conference hotel. It is perfect for a little alone time.

Tip 5: Balance is paramount.

We are talking about 3-4 days of crowds of people, noise, shopping, and chaos for an event such as this.  The key here is to pace yourself. If you go full-out for the first two days, by the end of the event you are going to be one burnt-out, grumpy, (insert your own adjective here), dancer, and that won’t be fun for you or anyone else. Try scheduling your social time keeping it to certain hours and don’t forget to schedule your alone time as well. Achieve the goals you had for the event such as meeting some new dancers, or focusing on your transitions, etc., but don’t forget to enjoy the beauty that is San Francisco, just stand back and watch the magic of the dancers all moving together in the love and appreciation of this dance. Don’t forget to stay hydrated, get some sleep, and eat healthy food. And take the other 4 tips from this article and space them out throughout the entire event, so that you are as joyful on the last day as you were on the first.

I hope that you have found something to take away from this article that can help you and I wish you a pleasant and less stressful ATS® Homecoming. I need to take a moment to thank the dancers who agreed to help me by being interviewed for this article as I certainly don’t think that I have all the answers. A BIG Thank You to Melissa Decker - Kalamazoo MI, Janet Taylor – FCBD® Teacher, and a few others who wished to remain anonymous. I also need to send a big thank you and apology to Lisa Chaves – Alabama. While we tried to connect for this article life got in the way and we just couldn’t make it happen. I look forward to meeting you in person and continuing this conversation.

-Dawn Grey, Des Moines, IA – Director of Seize the Sway, Des Moines, IA and Member of Darshana Tribal – Midwestern Multi-State Troupe.